No matter your line of work, you need to negotiate. "Nearly everyone negotiates at work and at home on a daily basis," wrote Charles R. McConnell for the National Federation of Independent Business website (NFIB.com).

"We negotiate with children over what they wear to school. Managers negotiate with vendors. Workers negotiate vacation schedules. Performance evaluation, counseling and problem-solving usually require some form of negotiation – effective managers must be persuasive negotiators to obtain commitment rather than simple obedience from their employees."

First, McConnell defines four basic types of negotiation:

• Power play: An authoritarian approach, less than true negotiation. Uses authority to steamroll over all objections – the power of veto.
• Fixed positions approach: A "take-it-or-leave-it" approach in which both parties adopt rigid positions and are reluctant to compromise. Most of their energy goes into defending their individual positions.
• Haggling approach: Bargainers ask for more than they expect, offer self-serving options and try to make concessions to imply obligation.
• Collaborative or value-adding approach: More likely to result in mutual gain. E.g. An employee asks to leave work early each day so she can pick up her child at school. She agrees to make up the time by working on the weekends. When the manager agrees, both parties win**.

Next, McConnell explains his seven steps in any negotiation:

1. Clarifying interests. "Ask how the other party views the solution and what he/she considers most important. Don't continue until the viewpoints and desired outcomes of both sides are clear.
2. Focusing on points of agreement. "Center on what you perceive as areas of agreement and work from there. Save problem areas for later."
3. Formulating possible options – the more the better. "Articulate the benefits of each option for the other person. Don't get stuck believing that your solution is the only good one."
4. Agreeing on the best option. "If you cannot reach complete agreement, be willing to compromise – but not until you've explored all possible win-win situations."
5. Being prepared for an impasse. "Keep the meeting going; the longer the discussion continues, the more likely the other party is to give in. If things continue to stall, call for a break or a postponement. Each of you may need more information."
6. Refining the deal. "Refine the selected agreement to ensure that each party is comfortable with it."
7. Wrapping it up. "Review what's been agreed and document the agreement."

Lastly, McConnell goes through some common barriers to negotiation:

• Fear: "Some people fear loss of friendship or future cooperation, others cave quickly because they shy away from conflict, and others are inflexible or demanding because they fear being taken advantage of."
• Secrecy: "Some negotiators mistakenly believe they will win by withholding information."
• Ultimatums and deadlines: "Avoid ultimatums unless absolutely necessary. Once you make a threat, be willing to enforce it or risk having your bluffs called in future negotiations."
• Anger, sarcasm, ridicule or tears: "Experienced negotiators are unmoved by emotion."
• The team approach: "Although sometimes advantageous (e.g. providing additional expertise), the team approach can pose problems (e.g. suggesting you are unable to handle the process alone). Plus, takes longer."
• Over-reliance on data: "Statistics are useful if valid, but too much reliance on them backfires when the other party finds flaws in your data or comes up with more impressive data."
• Delaying tactics: "Repeated delays serve only to postpone needed action and erode whatever spirit of cooperation that may exist."

**Remember: "No negotiation may be considered truly successful unless both parties can feel they have gained something," McConnell writes.

- newsletter@iQmetrix.com

* To read more about Honing Your People Skills, check out the following articles from iQmetrix News & Views:

7 Qualities of Powerful Persuaders

Conquer Your 'Over-pleaser' Tendencies

Get a Grip on Staff Infighting


Overcome the Fear of Follow-ups